Annoying Players of the NFL

A long, long time ago I apparently had too much time and venom towards certain NFL players on my hands. As I've grown and matured over the past 12 years I have to say that I'm somewhat amazed...amazed that my opinions of these douche bags haven't changed all that much.

dorfworld.com presents.........

Players we wish would just go Away
 

 Public Enemy #1

Ever just meet someone and take an instant dislike to them? Well I have too and don't care if everyone knows it. Just like real people, there are football players I have a dislike for. Sure I don't personally know these people, but so what?
 
 

Here's a list of current players I dislike the most. I'm sure there are more, and as I think of them I'll be sure to add on.

 
   

Random Shot
Wouldn't mind seeing the "good reverend" get busted at a brothel and listen to what he has to say then.
 

Cris Carter, WR Minnesota Vikings 

To me, there's nothing to like about this putz either on or off the field. A drug addict in a former life, a trash-talking showboat currently, Carter epitomizes all there is to dislike in today's NFL player. Especially noteworthy is his cowardice to run smack when his team is getting their ass whupped. If you're gonna trash talk, at least have the guts to do it when you're behind too. This guy makes me want to puke when he drops to his knees and points toward the sky after catching a touchdown pass. God doesn't care and neither do I. Fuck off, Carter.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor   10+ 
Stupidity quotient   10+ 
TOTAL   20+
    June, 2012 UPDATE: I still think Carter sucks    
Random Shot
What is it about these Floridians that make them so dislikable? Yet another "man of the cloth" who consistently looks like a fool.
 

Deion Sanders, DB Dallas Cowboys

Jeez, where does one start with this pansy? Another moron who believes God gives a flying fuck if he scores, Sanders is a one-dimensional player who has gotten by for years with his speed. God knows he can't tackle worth a damn, nor can he dance. His little celebratory jigs are among the stupidist things seen on Sundays in recent memory and his attempts to make an open field tackle the funniest. An overrated player and with bad toes to boot. Sadly, will probably make the Hall of Fame.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor   10 
Stupidity quotient   10 
TOTAL   20
    June, 2012 UPDATE: Could be even more annoying as an analyst on ESPN or whatever network hired his fancy suits    
Random Shot
I still get a big smile on my face remembering how Flutie did Miami and Michelle back in '83
 

Michelle Irvin, WR Dallas Cowboys 

Is there anything NOT to dislike about Michelle? his list of accomplishments is long, though not as long as his rap sheet. Between the crack, hookers and god only knows what else, Irvin has to be considered one of the prototypical punks of the NFL. Then add to that his ridiculous celebrations and you have the perfect balance of stupidity and annoyance.Thankfully, we may have seen the last of the infamous crackboy. Look for him at a crack house near you real soon.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor   10
Stupidity quotient   10
TOTAL   20
    June, 2012 UPDATE: Could be even more annoying as an analyst on ESPN or whatever network hired his fancy suits. And find yourself a speach therapist, bro    
Random Shot
Just a below average, stupid linebacker lucky enough to be at Denver the same time as Terrell Davis.
 

Bill Romanowski, LB Denver Broncos 

Part of me wants to find this guy on the street and spray a big goober in his face. But then I remembered "Romo" sprayed JJ Stokes in the grill with a goober of his own a couple years ago. Hard to hold that act against any man, even Romanowski. But then I recall how he dissed Mark Chmura before SB 32 and my intense desire to shower him with yellow, slimy phlegm is renewed. The fact that he's a former 49er adds to my dislike, although I must admit his taunting of Pittsburgh QB Kordell Stewart after another horrible Stewart pass was kind of funny. A jerk to be sure, but humorous at times also.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor   10 
Stupidity quotient  
TOTAL   18
    June, 2012 UPDATE: I dunno why, but I've lost a little of my distaste for Romo over the years    
Random Shot
What kind of man still allows himself to be referred to as "Ricky"?
 

Ricky Watters, RB Seattle Seahawks 

The next time this punk does anything not for show it will be the first. Coming out of Notre Dame, this high-stepping show off already had a major strike against him. Since coming into the NFL he's done nothing to change my mind. Who can forget his refusal to stretch for a high pass while playing with the Eagles? Wussy. Chickenshit. Then he essentially blew it off by saying his team wasn't worth getting hurt for. The only reason I bother to watch a game he's playing in is because I know I'll get to see him fumble at the most inopportune time, wrecking his teams' chance for a win.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor  
Stupidity quotient  
TOTAL   17
    June, 2012 UPDATE: Still think Ricky's a tool. Betcha he's broker than broke by now    
Random Shot
Sadly, one lucky catch against the Packers earned him a big fat contract. Let's see how he does when Steph young has to retire.
 

Terrell Owens, WR San Francisco 49ers 

The next time this punk shows any sign of class or dignity on the field the presses will stop and hell will have frozen over. Anyone remember last years SF-ATL game at the Georgia Dome last season? After catching a touchdown pass to bring the whiners to within 12 points of the dirty birdz, Owens makes the now-banned "throat slash" gesture to the Atlanta crowd. Not only was the gesture in bad taste, but it also was used at the wrong time. For this moronic act of alone Owens scores a perfect 10 for his Stupidity Quotient. Oh yeah, he's a 49er and he cries.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor  
Stupidity quotient   10
TOTAL   17
    June, 2012 UPDATE: Oh how the mighty have fallen...cut from an arena league team while still thinking he's a viable solution to some desperate NFL teams' receiver needs. Clown.    
Random Shot
Rumor has it that JJ had one of the lowest Wonderlic scores of all time. A rocket scientist he ain't
 

JJ Stokes, WR San Francisco 49ers 

Big, ugly and stupid, JJ Stokes (aka JJ Chokes) has been one of my least favorite players since the Badgers kicked the shit out of UCLA in the '94 Rose Bowl. Apparently on some sort of illegal narcotic, Stokes made a fool of himself the entire game--right up to the part he got tossed for being an asshole. A worthless reciever by all accounts, Stokes validates his worthlessness by his inability to beat out an aging Jeraldine Rice for a starting position on a weak 49ers team. For him to collect a paycheck should be a felony.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor   8
Stupidity quotient   8
TOTAL   16
    June, 2012 UPDATE: Still think he's probably an asshole. Sorry, Chokes    
Random Shot
The only reason this chump made the Pro Bowl a few years ago was becasue everyone else was hurt. A joke of a quarterback.
 

Trent Dilfer, QB Tampa Bay Bucanneers 

It's kind of hard for me to dislike someone as bad as Duhlfer, but somehow I'm able to. It's not just that he's a bad quarterback---he's a horrible quarterback. If I did my job like he does his, I'd be at the computer putting together a resume' and not writing about how bad Dilfer is right now. Any quarterback can take the snap for Tampa Bay and perform equally as bad as Dilfer has done the past 5 years--even a third stinger like Shaun King. For Dilly to make the jack he's pulling in for being crappy makes me want to cry.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor  
Stupidity quotient   10 
TOTAL   12
    June, 2012 UPDATE: Even though I thought he was a horrible QB and lucked out getting a SB ring with the Ravens (Thanks Ray Lewis), I'd hang with Trent. I was wrong to put you on this list.    
Random Shot
Still living off a good Tostito Bowl vs. Ohio State. A loser then, and a loser now.
 

Jake Plummer, QB Arizona Cardinals 

I don't really dislike Jake, it's just that "The Snake" would be more aptly named the "nightcrawler" in my humble opinion. I just don't get all the hoopla. After finally getting a chance to watch this guy work his so-called magic this year, I still don't get it. About the only thing I've seen is some guy who completes about 40% of his passes for 80 yards in the first 55 minutes of the game. Then, when the godawful NFC East opponent stupidly decides to play a prevent defense, the "nightcrawler" gets lucky and completes a few to pull out a win. Just a bad quarterback who's grossly overrated.

 

 Dorfworld Rating
Annoyance factor   2
Stupidity quotient   10
TOTAL   12
   

June, 2012 UPDATE: See Dilfer remarks above sans the SB ring, blah, blah. Insert Tim Tebow instead.

 

   

   HONORABLE MENTION
Randy Moss   Sulking and quitting during a game is a sure way to make the list next year. A Cris Carter protoge'. Surprised? 
Kordell Stewart    Too Stupid to realize he's not an NFL quarterback, and another crybaby to boot. What's with his neck, anyway?
Charlie Batch   This could be one of the ugliest quarterbacks in the league. Shallow? Sure, but it's my list. 
Corey Fuller   Former Vike tried to poke Frank Winters' eye out. Now he's in Cleveland so I guess there is justice in the world.
Merton Hanks   Should make the big list just for doing that stupid neck thing.
     

 The dorfworld Dislike Rating System


Obviously, any rating system is subjective in nature, and therefore subject to criticism. Again, so what? The dorfworld rating system is based on two criteria:

  • Annoyance Factor--This score is derived over the course of a player's career and is based on how annoying the subjects on and off the field antics are to me. The higher the score, the more annoying the player. 10 points are the maximum allowed. 
  • Stupidity Quotient-- The Stupidity Quotient is scored using the same methodology as the Annoyance Factor except that in this case, only the player's appearance of stupidity is recorded. 10 points are the maximum allowed. 

SCORING-- The higher the score, the more annoying I find the player to be.

 

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About the top banner:
Well call this guy "Mr T". I dared T to plank our bosses desk and he was dumb enough to do it.

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