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The Dorfworld 10th Year Anniversary Special

To check out the history of the old archives click here. Most is dated and some of the graphics are missing. Be sure to check out the Cyberwar and shop at the Cyberwar Store.

Alas, our campaign was not enough to get Bennett the Heisman.

Here's a classic post by "Wisconsin Sharp" from "Smak of the Week". The competition to be the smaker of the week and win the trophy was intense

Wisconsin Sharp - 10:44 pm Jul 19, 1999 ET (#5920 of 6011)

Hawke, your name refers, no doubt, to the method of your genesis. Well, crawl back into your spittoon, our pride has not been wounded by an anonymous little prepubescent piece of mucus whose major contribution to the human race is taking on the role of a one "man" advertisement for clorination of the gene pool.

I still think these are sorta funny after all these years. From the home page circa 2000...


Yes, we've gone big time with our new domain, our new look, stunning new graphics, easier navigation, and new content. We look forward to bringing you the best in internet entertainment.

Our major addition is the opening of Dorfworld Designs, our in-house web design firm. After spending countless hours perfecting the site you see before you, it only seems proper to share our mediocre skills with the rest of the world.

And just yesterday another groundbreaking idea. Ever find yourself in posession of a less than flattering photo of a friend or foe? Now you can embarass someone on the world wide web."


dorfworld was originally spawned during the winter of 1999. After several revisions and disasterous attempts to go live, the site that looks nothing like the one you see now, was finally uploaded on June 21, 1999.

What at one time was merely a way to survive the harsh, boring Wisconsin winters has evolved into a way of life for the dorfman and his legion of followers known as the "dorphs."


dorfworld.com, the brain- child of a bored dorfman, has no mission. We do, however have a special operations division which is generally classified material and available only after a rigorous security and background check of prospective surfers. But you never know. You might be able to hack through my security.


dorfworld.com has a highly trained, motivated staff. It is their goal to provide you with the best possible humor and sporting news available over the internet. If you are interested in web design, well, you take your chances with the dorfman himself with that one.





The dorfworld domain turns 10 in 2009!

10 years. Wow. Many things have changed in 10 years. In fact, there were other versions of dorfworld online back in 1997 when this site was known as http://www.lsol.net/pages/dorf.

Not the original, but an old banner from when dorfworld was still a dot com.

Children conceived at the same time I was starting to dabble in html are now in middle school; Netscape was a big-time player in the browser wars; Alta Vista, Lycos and Yahoo were the search engines of choice, Brett Favre was winding down an illustrious career with the Green Bay Packers and my original ISP (I was their 435th customer to subscribe to their dial-up service), Lakeshore Online, was bought out by Mercury Network and no longer exists. God, I was still a kid back then, my own two boys were barely out of diapers and I was going through a messy divorce. Seems like a lifetime ago.

Some of the high quality graphics you've come to expect from dorfworld. Sadly, the Badger football graphic is lost forever in cyber space.

Yes, it seems like only yesterday when I was hand-coding html into some long-forgotten Macintosh text editing program, in hopes of creating the next best thing on something called the internet which was still in its infancy, trying to get tables to align for hours on end just because I had to have it "just so". Then trying to figure out how to upload using Fetch. I had no idea about file hierarchy's at the time and everything went into one folder. What a mess that was, but I eventually figured it all out.

Good times.

Yes, it's been a decade of foolishness and stupidity here at dorfworld. How time flies.

The Mac Power PC I used to create dorfworld had a whopping 8 gig hard drive. The second generation iMac had 40 gigs. The 3rd gen iMac, the one I'm using now, has 150. The latest, which is in the living room for the family to use has 240 gigs. 8 gigs? That's wild. The thing is, I think I still had a gig available when it finally died and went to computer heaven. My iPod touch has 8 gigabytes and it's just about full.

One of my first animations made for the Cyber War. That's Sean Gates being blown away

The hand coding got real old real fast. Luckily I discovered the Netscape Communicator browser included a basic html editor which was a godsend. This seemed to work OK for a while until I discovered there were real editors out there and finally broke down and bought a $79 program called Page from Adobe. I thought it was the greatest invention ever. Graphics were done with an early free version of Photoshop LS, I believe it was. You know, the freebie they give you with a scanner purchase?

Back in the day I had to rely on stock imagery scanned from stock imagery catalogs given to me at work. A lot of good stuff was gleaned from those pages. Now, it's easy to find anything you want on the net.

The Packer-49'er rivalry was quite intense in the mid-90's and beyond. I did my part to keep the fires of dislike burning!

My helper at Lakeshore Online, Shawn (aka Mac Guru), was a high school kid who seemingly knew everything Mac and internet related. Without him there probably wouldn't be a dorfworld. He quit working at LSOL before I went live so I wonder if he ever truly realized just what a huge impact he had on the web? He's probably got kids of his own in elementary school by now.

As I recall, it was "Steph" who finally got me on the net after I failed to do so numerous times. I do remember she had a lot of patience with this newb, but I suspect she learned quite a bit about Macintosh software and OS7. OS7? Damn, it has been a long time.

Today I'm using Adobe/Macromedia software. I got a screaming deal on Macromedia's web authoring bundle back in 2002. I think it was version 4.0 which included Fireworks, Dreamweaver, and Flash. Currently I'm using Adobe's Creative Suite 3 which contains all that and more. The sad thing is, during those 7 years I never once figured out how to use Flash creatively and I doubt I'll ever figure it out in the forseeable future, either, but maybe some day I will. Who knows?

At its genesis, most of dorfworld was devoted to the Green Bay Packers, University of Wisconsin Badger football and what I considered at the time to be humor. Some of that crap remains in the archives section and interspersed randomly throughout the rest of the site.

Dorfworld was there every step of the way as Ron Dayne ran his way to the Heisman Trophy and the Badgers to the 1999 and 2000 Rose Bowls. Dorfworld was there as the Packers struggled a bit in the post-Holmgren years and when Brett Favre turned 30 and first contemplated retirement. I think I wrote that he should go ahead and retire after one of his patented stupid plays. I clearly recall writing that the Pack should go with a young Matt Hasselback.

Some of the names have come and gone. Folks like Sean Gates, Hawke, Panda notorious 49'er fans, all, and contributors to dorfworld in one way or another but mostly provided fodder for my razor-like wit.

Ron Dayne was God back in this site's early days

Some of the good guys are still around. Gary/Boomer,Terry/ACL and even Mark/Wisconsin Sharp---the "Smak of the Week" king. I don't know what happened to Al/Packrat though I hope he's still with us. These guys, who I consider friends,were die-hard Packer fans. Boomer and I still exchange e-mails and I met ACL a few years ago up in Green Bay along with his stepson, Mitch. Sadly, young Mitch bore a striking resemblance to Brian Urlacher.

An interesting by product of the Packer pages was the highly addictive and harmless "Cyber War" with 49'er fan Sean Gates and his horrible web site "The Recipe for Jerry Rice" which, unbelievably is still functional. Many hours were put in coming up with something to rip both Gates and the 9'ers on. Really, though, it was pretty easy to do all things considered. Sorry, I couldn't help myself there. I always looked forward to either reading or writing the latest attack. My secret weapon? The ability to create animated gif images and doctor photos.

Yumi was always providing snacks to the kids' soccer team.

I lost contact with Sean, who was a good kid despite his bad web site and fondness for the 9'ers, over the years. The last I heard from him he was on the east coast, Boston, maybe. I suspect he still suffers from Packer envy and still secretly visits dorfworld.

Hey Gates...here's one for old times.

Another byproduct of dorfworld was the short-lived "Dorfworld Designs". I managed to make a few bucks building web sites---just enough to keep me in printer paper and a new software title every so often along with a few outings with Todd and Matt to Buck games. I found it amazing that people would pay me $400 for what amounted to 10-12 hours of playing on the computer. I think at one time I had eight sites live but 6 are left today including Emerging Technologies , Woodland Dunes Nature Center, Aspen Resources, AM Product and, to some degree Shoreline Apics.

The best thing to come out of all this foolishness was my wife, Yumi. Funny, I started doing this to stave off the boredom that came from being single and I wound up with a wife and more kids

The local soccer club needed a web site built so I stepped up to the plate and hammered one out. I had Yumi's e-mail address as our boys were on the same team and asked her if she'd take a look at the site and give some feedback. I intentionally placed a picture of her onto the site which was the genesis of our online flirtation and eventual marriage. Yeah, the Dorfman is a sly one alright.

Of course, some of you old timers reading this may recall the one dark period associated with the fine dorfworld name. Even I can't recall the exact year, but at one point, between then and now, this site was known as www.dorfworld.com. That is until some sneaky bastard stole my domain name during the renewal period. I later tracked down the new "owner" to a Chinese firm. Damn communist bastards made me angry not because they swiped the domain, but because I had to redo a lot of the graphics that referred to the site as a dotcom.

All is not forgiven, but what was once a vehicle to talk smack to rival football fans and humor has now turned into something a little more fitting for a 45 year old geezer. Backpacking trip reports have taken over this site and really are the only reason for its existence now when I think about it.

Without those trip reports I never would have met or talked with a lot of folks. I met and hiked with Reed, Ward, Brad and Mike in the gorgeous mountains of Wyoming and Montana. I've corresponded via e-mail with literally dozens of folks asking me questions about the Wind Rivers, Glacier, the Bighorns and the Beartooth Mountains.

It's been a lot of fun putting these pages together over the years.

Thanks for taking the time to look around.



Packer Party Train
Poor Dan fell for this hard. Sorry.
Dorfworld turns 10 in 2009
A look back at a decade of stupidity and foolishness
My Taper is Missing!
my taper was abducted at work last week. Heinous.
Our Wedding Day
A look at the festivities as seen through my camera.
Dayhiking the Mariner Trail
Yumi and I spend a lovely Sunday afternoon along the lake
You Can Own This Home!!!
Yumi wants to sell her lovely home & I'm gonna help
I'm Going to Be Rich!!!
Goofy William "mistakenly" sent me inside info
A Month in my place of Work
Definitely bizarre & true
Frank Needs a Date
Help a former U.S. Marine and find love
We're Getting Married! But When?
Yes, we're gonna do it. Sometime
Boomer's F-15 Flight
"Boomer", tells us about his joy ride in a F-15 without puking
ESPN is Pissing me off
Their non-sports programming sucks
Players I love to hate
The NFL's biggest shitheads according to me
Road Ragers: Bad Rap?
Road Rage saves lives and makes the roads safer
The birth of dorfworld
After this, I should have aborted

About the top banner:
Well call this guy "Mr T". I dared T to plank our bosses desk and he was dumb enough to do it.


Copyright 1999-2012. www.dorfworld.net. All rights reserved